A Loud Language

Whenever I am explaining something to my mother, it seems like she never understands me. I sometimes wonder if it is because I grew up here in America and she grew up in a different culture or if it is because she just couldn’t understand the words that just came out my mouth. 

One time- actually one time out of many times in which me and my mother got into an argument because I was trying to explain a term to her in our native language, but she refused to listen to me. We were at my orthodontist appointment and my dad’s insurance was terminated because he had surgery in his back. After a whole year my dad was cleared to go back to work and our insurance was working again. So when I went to my appointment, my mom couldnt go in because of COVID, they only allowed the patients in and the parents had to wait at the door. I finish my appointment and I tell the receptionist that my dad’s insurance is working now so I won’t be making any more out of pocket payments. The lady said that I still had to pay because my dad’s insurance isn’t going to cover it any more. The women started describing how much was left to pay and all that and I went to tell my mom what the lady told me and we both got frustrated because she didn’t understand the terms that I was using. I tried to explain things in a different way in our native language but she still didn’t get it. My mom stormed back in the office and she started talking so loud and I stood outside the door and everyone could hear her. I could hear her speaking right in my ear. I know she was only trying to help, but I still felt my face burning up and feeling a little embarrassed. 

Reading books like one called “It Ain’t So Bad, Falafel” by Firoozeh Dumas made me see that the misunderstanding when it comes to translating different languages and how we interpret different things is common in many cultures. A lot of people migrate from their homeland to come to America in hopes of finding a better life for themselves and their children. Reading It Ain’t So Bad Falafel helped me to see myself in the character, as if it was me watching my own life. I saw similar things between the mother and the daughter and I was able to relate to it. My mom sometimes relies on me to help translate or read certain things to her just like Zomrods mother does to her daughter. Sometimes I will be watching something with my mom and I would laugh at the funny joke, but my mom never understood why it was so funny, just like the way Zomrods parents never understood certain traditions or “norms” spoken/done in the American culture. It’s the same for if I were to watch an African movie with people outside of that culture, they may not understand certain jokes. After the experience with my mom, I would express my feelings more to her in a way that she can understand. 

My mom is illiterate and even if she wasn’t she probably still wouldnt understand certain jokes me and my friends make. It’s like there is another language called teen slang that would break our understanding of certain things, even if English was her first language. When I go out and meet new family members, everyone seems to be so shocked that me and my siblings can speak the national language, even though we were born here. I’ve realized that when people, especially younger people that come to America always lose their language. Some of my cousins and friends from Ghana either don’t speak the language and only understand it or don’t understand or speak it at all. Gha is already a hard language to learn because we speak in sayings. The literal translations don’t make any sense in English and the language is very heavy. Even the spellings of the words look nothing like the way you would say it if you were speaking

I used to literally think that I was the only one that experienced a hard time or trouble filling in this gap between two different languages so that my mom and I would understand each other better. I might not be saying this the right way but my mother believes that if you are educated here in America or getting an education you should know everything. But when I try to tell her something that I understand more than she does, sometimes she refuses to listen and thinks that she knows best. Each day I am learning to be patient and accept that language should be what brings us together- not apart. If we talk and get to know someone from another country who speaks a different language, we will see that we actually have a lot in common.